How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Where is the hickey?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
