ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
