smell my finger.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
