i think my mom watched the whole time
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
