Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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