I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think your dad took our porno
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
