one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She told me I should be a condom model.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
