I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
