doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
