just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
