she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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