There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
