Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
