I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The struggles of a small town man whore
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
