Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
