dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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