You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Randomize
