My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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