He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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