those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
