Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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