chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just forgot I was standing up.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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