he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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