It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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