is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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