cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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