He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
