I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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