Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
