the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Randomize
