drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
