rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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