Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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