is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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