im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
