I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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