I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
