It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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