Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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