Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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