i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
