He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
