I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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