playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
