I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
