no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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