why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
