I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
