It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
