end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
