Where is the hickey?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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