Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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